They're not terrible, you just have to change the way you ride at night. I found that the worst part of the beam spread occurred when dropping the bike into tight bends. It turned out that the best place to look was right on the outside edge of the beam pattern as that lit the road up the clearest round the bend. It's really hard to describe, but they aren't terrible.
The lights on my g/f's Bandit 600 are terrible, the lights on my Hayabusa were shocking; trying to hustle at 3 figures down unlit roads at night was a nightmare.
As for being seen, if I could turn them off in the day I would. Makes very little difference to whether someone has seen you or not because it comes down to if they've looked.
The height of the headlamp on the bike means that, as mentioned, the beam really catches car driver's mirrors in the same way a 4x4 or van headlamps do. I always try and keep back from drivers in traffic as it's no fun being blinded through your mirrors.