For Driving lights, using a 'scotch' connector take a feed from the main beam wire in the headlight (again check that it is the one that shows 12-14v when on main beam, when not on main beam it should show no volts), feed this through an override switch (so that you can switch them off if needs be) and then connect to Pin 86 on the relay.

Is there any reason why you couldnt use the +ive from the side lights? Great write up i was just thinking how to do it and bought all the kit today ..Thanks