Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the bacon slicer...he got a little behind with his work! Steve

I was enjoying my dinner at a nice restaurant the other day when the waitress came over and asked,

"How did find the steak sir"

"It was easy" I replied "I just moved a chip & there it was"

Ol mate goes to a strip club and pays for a lap dance using monopoly money, chick cracks up and yells thats fake money, ol mate replies well theyre fake tits!

A guy walks into a pub in London and hear three rather big ladies talking to each other, but with an accent
So he asks them: "Are you ladies from Scotland?"
The one reply: "Whales"
So he says: "Are you three whales from Scotland?"
He's still in hospital